Fall into the Wind --- WIP

[Mist]

_{Cats Giving 9 Lives
Falconwing : Former Brother__<__Devotion/Loyalty
Greyfeather : Former Deputy__<__Responsibility
Lilyfoot : Former Mother__<__Compassion
Nightflower : Former Medicine Cat__<__Confidence/Faith
Whiteclaw : Former Mentor__<__Patience/Humility
Snakekit : Former Kit__<__Curiosity
Mintpaw : Former Rival__<__Truth/Challenge
Raggedstone : Former Warrior__<__Determination/Perseverance
Ashstar : Former Leader__<__Fearlessness}

<sub>My journey to Highstones flew by in a haze. My feet carried me across the uneven terrain, barely paying attention, as I followed the Medicine Cat; my steps were surefooted and light. The night sky was a dark shade of midnight blue and the stars sparkled like tiny dots of fire, piercing through the darkness. The silence of the night helped create a dreamlike quality about the whole venture. My thoughts turned inward as I pondered the recent events that had lead up to this moment. Was it just two moons ago that I had become deputy? Lionstar was still young and in his prime, nobody expected his sudden death. This leadership position was literally being thrust upon me and I wasn't sure I was ready.

My attention refocused on my surroundings as I realized we had reached the Highstones. I gave the Medicine Cat a sheepish grin before continuing forward into the tunnel; we had previously agreed that I would do this part alone. I felt the blackness of the tunnel close around me as if it was a tangible thing. My heart started racing and I wanted to turn around, tear out of this place, and run until I couldn't anymore. I stopped and closed my eyes; this was more for the purpose of going through the motions then anything else for the blackness of tunnel was so complete. My breathing was coming out in short, sporadic bursts and my lungs began to burn. I focused on a memory from my past. It was my deputy ceremony, Lionstar had looked so strong as he stood before the clan and chose me to become his second in command. I had spent all summer working hard, giving up extra hours of sleep to provide another set of paws in patrols and night watches. Being chosen as deputy both elated and scared me. Despite my fears I had transitioned into my responsibilities, doing what needed to be done, and everything had been fine. Holding on to this memory, I continued forward through the tunnel.

It seemed like an eternity before my still-closed eyes registered a change in the light. I opened my eyes and hurried forward around one last bend, emerging from the tunnel while at the same time stepping into the moonlit area. A small stone lay directly under the moon's rays. I walked forward, my body as drawn to the Moonstone as my eyes. I stared around in wonder at the luminous reflection that was being cast on the stone walls and my pelt causing everything to glow. Peace flowed through me and suddenly, though I had been instructed on all of this, I finally understood why this needed to be done. I gently pressed my nose to the Moonstone and closed my eyes.

I wasn't sure what I expected to happen. Perhaps something earth-shattering like brilliant white lights shooting down or a blinding whiteness filling the area. Instead I felt myself descend into a dreamless darkness; I knew I wasn't asleep, but I also wasn't awake. Then like a slow moving breeze a soft light expanded, filling up and replacing the darkness. The surroundings became visible like a blurred photograph coming into focus . Soft, springy grass covered the clearing beneath my feet and large trees with leaves turning the colors red, orange, and yellow created a circular shield around the clearing. I recognized the place as Fourtrees. A soft breeze ruffled my fur and brought a light, musky smell to my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, letting my senses take over and bring names to the smells that now filled my nose. Wet leaves, fallen wood, moist dirt, crisp grass, and other small woodland smell mingled together. These smells created a sense of home, but underlining all of that was a sense of power far more ancient then ever encountered before.

I was suddenly reminded of those moments during hunting when a small movement to the left or a shadow would rush past at the edges of my vision and would alert me to another presence, usually prey. Movements and flashes similar to those experiences startled me from my gazing only these flashes were bright lights and they came from above. Looking up, I watched in confusion as the stars began moving around. My confusion grew to awe as the stars began descending slowly at first, but rapidly built momentum until they were hurtling towards earth. What had at first appeared to me as stars, revealed themselves to be the cats of Starclan. There pelts radiated the power of the stars and some looked ready to burst into flaming combustion at any moment while others could freeze solid creating magnificent statues.

Their numbers seemed to swell out forever and sometimes their forms would blend together into one shining mass. It seemed as if every ancestor from each clan were present. Faces began standing out in the front of the mass and with a start I realized I knew these cats from Windclan. Their deaths had seemed final to me at the time, it didn't hit me until now that by becoming a part of Starclan it enabled them to still communicate with those cats among the living.

"Foxtail, you are welcomed here.Your nine lives will be bestowed upon you with your approval. Are you ready?"

The question sent shivers through me, my anticipation building. My voice came out sounding hoarse, but firm. "Yes, I am ready."

A single cat emerged from the mass and approached me. My face broke into a delighted grin, which he instantly matched, when I realized it was my brother Falconwing. I had been drowned in sorrow when my brother, who had been like my other half, had been battered and crushed against a rocky tomb. It had been just two days after our warrior ceremony and we were taking part in a border patrol near the falls. An unusual noise echoed off the surrounding rocks and so our patrol had separated to investigate. Falconwing and I were instructed to scout around on the ledges above the falls. In the midst of this, Falconwing had lost his footing and fallen over the edge into the falls only to be repeatedly dashed against the sharp rock walls, his cries had haunted my dreams for weeks afterward. Now he stood before me, a vision from the past, looking the way he used to.

Brother! It's been so long. I never thought I would... I.. I've missed you.

I could feel myself choking on my own words. I felt a light brush against my shoulder as by brother gently touched my shoulder; it was his way of telling me he felt the same. I looked up into Falconwing's gaze, so full of strength and passion. I felt the remnants of our old connection; the connection that had us practically able to read each others minds and intentions. There was also something new, something stronger and I knew this new bond would remain with me as I returned back to the forest and my clan.

"With this life I give you devotion and loyalty. Use this well to remain steadfast and strong for your clan."

Falconwing leaned forward and touched his nose to my forehead. This life crashed into my body making me feel battered and torn. Freezing cold seeped into my bones, chilling me to the core. Small streaks of burning heat shot across my legs, my chest, portions of my back, and my abdomen. The icy tendrils wrapped back around me, replacing the heat only to have the whole process repeated over and over. It felt as if my life force was being drained and with a start I realized I was reliving Falconwing's death. I felt my heart weaken as I relived the torture that had been his last moments in the world. Devotion for my clan filled me like the deathly waterfall, giving me the will to fight to protect all cats within it the clan from bearing torture and pain. To pledge my life and time towards improving my clan and defending it's honor. Loyalty entered my body, searing its path through me. I would stay with my clan through anything that came against us. When neighbors become enemies and promises are broken, I will be the example of loyalty towards your friends, clan, family and lover.

This life's presence left me feeling strong and vulnerable at the same time. I blinked at Falconwing wanting to tell him so much, but unable to get the words off my tongue. He gave a rueful grin before fading back into the mass of cats. Without a moments hesitation another cat came forward to take him place. So soon? I still have to catch my breathe from the last life. A grey striped tabby padded towards me, his giant paws barely touching the ground even though I would have expected them to land heavily on the grass. His gait was somehow familiar and when our eyes met I felt a brief wave of deja vu sweep over me.

Suddenly, like a shooting star claiming the night with its brilliance, a long forgotten memory from my past consumed me. I was transported back into my days as a kit when my life revolved around eating, sleeping, and playing. This day in particular I had decided to satisfy my curiosity and slipped outside of the nursery when my mother's back was turned. Feeling proud of myself I puffed out my chest and walked forward attempting to imitate the swagger I had seen my father do in one of his many visits. I was so busy watching the ground I failed to see the tom standing before me. I ran into the back of his legs startling both of us. Greyfeather, the clan's deputy, had been organizing a hunting patrol and hadn't noticed my unfortunate approach. I was promptly returned to the nursery and scolded. I never got another chance to see Greyfeather because he died fighting valiantly against a rabid fox that had invaded the camp a few days later. Now he stood before me in all his former strength and I felt like an uncoordinated kit once more. I wasn't sure what to say as I dipped my head respectfully and murmured a greeting.

"Hello Greyfeather."

"Hello indeed, long time no see eh?" Greyfeather smiled in good humor before turning serious once more. "With this life I give you responsibility. Use it well to lead your clan with strength and fortitude."

Greyfeather pressed his nose firmly to my forehead and I closed my eyes in preparation for this next life. It entered leaving me weak and breathless; it felt like a large weight was baring down on my shoulders and back. I felt my knees lock and was glad they didn't give out under the tremendous pressure. The pressure was becoming unbearable and just when I thought I had reached the last of my strength it felt as though an elastic band suddenly expanded from my pool of strength and I was able to endure the pressure. I felt the need to complete all tasks set before me and accomplish all the duties I would be facing. It was my responsibility to lead my clan through peace and turmoil. It felt like small compartments inside my brain were being created to organize and file important rules and codes of conduct that I would need to guide my decisions.

I had been squeezing my eyes shut so tightly I saw spots when I opened them. Greyfeather, his eyes fathomless, gave me one last long look I wasn't able to decipher before stepping aside to let the next approaching cat take his place. A small white she-cat replaced Greyfeather.

"Mother!"

My heart felt like it would burst with happiness. I saw my love for her mirrored in her own face. She threw herself towards me the last few feet rubbing her head against my neck as I pushed my face into her shoulder. Too soon she drew back and looked at me; I saw love and pride reflecting in the depths of her eyes.

"Foxtail..."

She ended my name with a sign and I shuddered with happiness just hearing her voice say my name. She didn't seem to know what to say first and I knew there was so much she wanted to tell me. In this way we were similar and so I was able comprehend what she couldn't form into words. Seeing the understanding in my eyes, she smiled and continued to speak the words of the ceremony.

"With this life I give you compassion. Use it well to care for cats weaker then yourself."

She leaned forward and touched my forehead while I kept my eyes locked on her face, waiting for compassions sweet entrance. The life that entered me would better be described as molten fire. My eyes widened and my face froze in a silent gasp of pain as stared down at our mingled feet; the tip of my mother's nose still connected to my forehead through an invisible bond. The heat spread throughout my limbs searing the flesh from my bones. Anger and rage would be like a candle compared to this uncontrollable wildfire. Through this life I felt the love a mother has for her kits and the lengths she would go to keep them safe. Rational thoughts didn't exist when a mother's kits were endangered and she would fight with every last breath for their safety against anything. The ferocity of compassion called for me to protect and guard my clan without restraint. To battle whole forests of animals, never pausing to give up or compromise when the weak or helpless were in danger. The intense fire of emotions slowly ebbed and left a feeling of ice in its wake. I looked up to find the same fierce emotion in my mother's eyes as she gazed at me.

"Foxtail, never forget how much your family and your clan truly matter. I will always be watching over you."

She turned and padded away, returning to the mass of cats surrounding me. A lithe black she-cat came forward, moving across the open space in almost no time at all, her white paws flashing with each step. With a start I realized it was Nightflower! As in thee Nightflower who had been Windclan's medicine cat during The Great Destruction. There is a period in Windclan history where for eleven days and nights every imaginable destructive, chaotic terror had attacked our clan; this period is more commonly known as The Great Destruction. These terrors included raging wind storms that hurled unprepared cats against solid objects, rabid animals invading the camp, plagues of biting insects and infestations of fleas and ticks, torrential rains that caused massive flooding, and even poisoned prey. Through all of these disasters, Nightflower healed and worked to save lives. She was legendary! I grew up hearing her life recounted for a bedtime story. I can't believe she was standing here before me preparing to give me a life.

"It's you!"

I had tried to think of something witty to say, but in the end that was all I was able to gasp out. I saw an amused look form on Nightflower's face as she padded up to me. I would bet anything that she was amused by my reaction towards her. Stopping before me she proceed to roll her eyes and scrunch her nose a little at me. This caused me to smile, who knew Nightflower had a silly sense of humor.

"With this life I give you confidence and faith. Use it well to lead your clan wisely and without regrets."

Nightflower slid forward and brushed her nose against my forehead. Like an icy pressure being applied to an open wound, all my..her? insecurities rushed forward making themselves known. Am I even fit to lead others of my kind? Will I be able to win the next fight I engage in? Can I truly save someone from these kinds of injuries? Does Starclan truly believe in me? What if I let everyone I care about down? Each question ripped through my soul leaving small, ragged holes in their wake while a long stream of questions continued to do the same. With no prior warning, a warm, golden, healing light swathed my soul in brilliant comfort and encased the heart-wrenching questions in a firm shell of confidence. I don't have the answers to these questions, but neither does Starclan. I felt confidence strengthen my limbs and straightening my stance. No longer will I be unsure of my views and opinions. If I ever feel a shade of doubt within me I will fight to erase it. I will let my faith in Starclan will give my words a sense of truth and meaning. I felt a sense of peace settle over me as I watched Nightflower recede backwards to rejoin the other Starclan cats once more.

A dark brown mottled tom stepped forward and moved to stand in front of me, flexing his white claws with each step. I grinned as my burly, former mentor came to a stop before me. His claws were a bright, clear white at the base and turned translucent about midway up to the tips. A slight malformation in his paws causes his claws to stick out of their sheaths and it's impossible for him to fully retract them.

"Whiteclaw, you look great. Death suits you."

I loved bantering with Whiteclaw and couldn't miss this opportunity. Whiteclaw responded without missing a beat, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"There's no need to be pert with me. I see you haven't changed much and here I thought you would have finally decided to act your age."

He winked at me before straightening up and assuming a mock serious face. This was his "it's time to get to work" face that he used on me during many of our training sessions. I knew this meant our exchange of words was finished and I would be receiving my next life.

"With this life I give you patience and humility. Use it well to pass on your knowledge to others and in turn accept guidance from those wiser than you."

Whiteclaw bent slightly and touched his nose to my head. Unlike the previous lives, this life entered me gently and slowly. It felt like a slow stream of lava flowing throughout me, warming me to the core. All things took time and waiting for something didn't have to be vexing. Patience was like a soft stream which flowed at a continuous rate never slowing or speeding up, but rather allowing everything to take its natural course. Flashes, blinding me with their brilliance, of looming mountains that looked dark and sinister, raging waterfalls four times the size of Windclan's falls, plains that seemed to go on forever, and forests whose depths couldn't be penetrated easily. I came to the realization that the world was a large unknown and I've only seen a minuscule portion of it. The sense of humility moved through me pushing me towards the understanding that one should remain open to knew ideas. I knew deep in my soul I would strive to learn about what I didn't already know.Thinking about what I already knew, I found my knowledge seriously lacking and was willing to receive help from more seasoned cats. When I opened my eyes I found Whiteclaw staring down at me with a knowing smile on his face.

"What is it old man?"

On hearing my comment Whiteclaw merely grinned more widely before moving away from me and back in the gathering of cats. A small white and brown brindled shape bounded forwards, stumbling over his paws every few steps. Snakekit was making his way across the space between us as fast as he could which wasn't very fast. His eyes kept darting towards different subjects; from a falling leaf to a flying bug to a shadow of a bird above and more. A few feet before reaching me, his eyes met mine and a cheerful grin lite his features while he made a bending motion with his head. I smiled back a little confused before understanding swept through me and I crouched down to his level.

"With this life I give you curiosity. Use it well to investigate problems and discover solutions for the good of the clan."

This life felt like a swirling vortex of energy entering my body. Fierce, raw power engulfed me; pulsing through my veins and making my muscles convulse and throb. Every particle of my being came alive under the waves of energy. My attention and awareness consumed my mind as it was divided into a million different directions while focusing on everything around, above, and below me all at once. Colors, textures, shapes, movements, shadows, noises and more dominated my thoughts. I was able to give my attention to everything around me, but as soon as I tried to focus on one thing the others seemed to fade away. I needed to broaden my focus once more to include everything while focus on nothing and tried once more to concentrate on one thing while maintaining my hold on everything else. It took a few tries, but with Snakekit's life experiences for guidance I was finally able to master this. I will be able to use this controlled form of curiosity to have control in future battles as I use this ability to focus on all the chaos going on around me while engaging in my own fights.

I blinked my eyes a few times to clear my vision and refocused back on Snakekit's face. My feet still itched to wander about and explore; to leave everything behind for a few days and just roam the territory. Snakekit grinned up at me, probably because of the expression on my face, and I felt my muscles form an easy half grin in response. Snakekit's eyes seemed to be conveying a message of a sort, letting me know that he knew exactly how I felt. All of a sudden, Snakekit whips his head, and half of his body, around as if someone or something was calling out to him. He turned back to me, gave me a lazy wink, and bounding off into the large mass of cats. I shook my head ruefully in the direction Snakekit had taken. I felt a prickling sensation on my pelt, the kind you get when someone is watching you. I turned towards the direction the sensation was coming from and locked eyes with Mintpaw.

Mintpaw's pale green eyes stared me down as he sauntered up to me. Stopping a fox-length away from me, he smirked at me with a challenging look sparking in his eyes. Mintpaw's pelt was a unifrom grey that I often referred to as a lifeless colorization; the only color apart from this grey was the green in his eyes and even those were pale and washed out. Strangely, I was unbelievably happy to see my one time rival once more. I haven't been able to find another cat to fit into my category of potential rivals since no other cat is as antagonizing, infuriating, or insulting as Mintpaw. Mintpaw and I clashed on everything from the time of day to the color of the sky. It shouldn't be too hard to agree the sky is blue, but if I said the sky was blue he would say the sky was more of an aqua color. I'm still not sure there is a difference between blue and aqua.

"Well well. Look at you Foxtail. All grown up and becoming a leader. You do know this isn't pretend anymore, right? I would hope so cause otherwise Windclan is doomed! Enough senseless chatter I have a life to give you. Unless you decided you can't handle becoming a leader. I'm sure you could still back out...maybe not."

Mintpaw shrugged as if he didn't care either regardless of my choice. I can't believe it, even when he is dead he still manages to get under my pelt. I was about to respond with a few angry words when he turned serious and spoke in a grave tone.

"With this life I give you truth and the ability to challenge. Use it well to discern what is right and rally against what is wrong."

Mintpaw pressed his nose to my head, practically forcing the life into me. A stabbing pain pierced my skull, worming its way deeper inside of me. My muscles locked in a frozen battle; not willing to give up, but not able to move forward. I felt myself being stripped; my insecurities, secrets, longings, and feelings of guilt and shame that had long since been locked away were laid bare for the world to see. This feeling was more terrifying, more exposing than the loss of all my fur. Internally, I turned away not wanting to face the parts of me that are better left unexamined. Like cannon fire on stonewalls, I was repeatedly bombarded and the walls I've built up over the years were being torn apart faster than I could repair them. It felt like I was standing on an edge of a precipice, trapped with no where to go, while the truth inside of me was waiting for me to make the leap. To either step forward to face the depths of my soul or fall backwards and give up on everything. My survival instincts made the impossible decision for me as I stepped forward allowing the truth of my past to rush into me. I was expecting to survive feeling confused, broken, lost, afraid, and despaired. I didn't expected to feel complete and peaceful or come away knowing more about myself then I ever have before. My morals and my sense of justice were without doubts or hesitation. It doesn't matter what the odds are because I will fully support what I believe is true. My claws burned with uncontrollable fire at the thought of corrupted truths and evil beliefs. I wanted to challenge those lies, tear them apart and reveal the truth hidden underneath.

"You enjoyed every minute of that didn't you?"

I looked up at Mintpaw and caught a glimpse of emotion behind his clear eyes before he closed himself off, once more becoming cold and aloof. He raised one of his eyebrows and smirked at me. His voice was formal and arrogant as he responded.

"I enjoyed that immensely."

He turned around and padded back towards the other cats of Starclan; giving a snarky wave with the tip of his tail which looked more like of a mocking salute. He always did have to have the last word; the accompaniment of a derisive motion shouldn't surprise me, but it does. My vexation over Mintpaw's newest form of farewell protocol was shadowed by the burly shape emerging from the group of cats. My legs, still quivering from the last life, locked in place as I stared down this new face. A body easily twice my size; wide, bulky shoulders; thick, narrowed skull; a small, stiff tail; and fangs that protruded slightly past his top lip. Raggedstone had come to give me my eighth life. His ragged pelt had not changed and in fact had worsened. His original appearance had always alienated him; it was more pronounced when surrounded by the rest of Starclan whose looks had been restored and modified to perfection. Seeing Raggedstone in this way gave me a feeling of satisfaction and the corner of my eyes narrowed as he continued his approach. My resentment and anger continued to build with each step he took. I was unprepared to accept my next live from a cat who spent so much time trying to sabotage and ruin me. My pelt prickled as I remembered that fateful day when he had finally reached the end of the plan he had been plotted his whole life, the plan to end my life. By some chance of luck it was he who died that day and I who lived. Raggedstone had finally reached me and he met my hate filled eyes with a blank look. My whiskers drooped in confusion as I tried to find some sign of life in Raggedstone's eyes. He spoke the first words in a low, lifeless voice.

"With this life you are given determination and perseverance. Use it as you deem fit for the aid of your clan."

I gave him a look of bewilderment as the ceremonial words he spoke descended on my ears. The way he said it made it seem as though he hadn't chosen to take part in this and the life he was giving was done unwillingly so. Oblivious to my thoughts, Raggedstone stiffly jerked forward and shoved his nose against my forehead with a jarring force causing me to wince. I waited for this next life to enter me, ignoring the murmured voices among Starclan at the breach in protocol. Secretly I wondered how the selection process was conducted when choosing which cats would bestow the lives. I met Raggedstone's eyes once more and saw a change go through them. With a quick thrust, Raggedstone drove his teeth deep into my throat and ripped it sideways. I tipped forward, jarring myself against Raggedstone's chest before collapsing into a motionless heap at his feet. I lay there, my gasps turning into strange, wet gurgles, and stared uncomprehendingly at Raggedstone. Blood was pooling around me, matting my fur and the angry yowls and voices of other cats was making my head spin. My vision started going fuzzy and black spots appearing on the edges. A surreal sense of calm spread over me and I knew I was dying, Raggedstone had finally accomplished his task. I had to hand it to him, even in death he never gave up. Some how me managed to join the ranks of Starclan and by some impossible means that I will never understand was able to get himself chosen to give me one of my lives. I will never understand his sense of determination and perseverance. The lengths he went to accomplish a task that was fueled by some strange hatred. No that's not right, it wasn't hatred that pushed him. It was something stronger, something deeper. Could it be determination and perseverance in it's most organic form that fueled his will? This was my last thought as blackness enveloped me in it's warm embrace.

I opened my eyes to the clearing to find everything unchanged, Raggedstone stood before me with a burning look on his face. When our eyes met he calmed down and his features rearranged into that blank stare from before. He stumbled aside as another cat took him place. The cat that took his place, the giver of my last life, was Ashstar. He's build was similar to Raggedstone in size, but that is where the similarities end. Ashstar's body rippled with muscles, his pelt was a sooty grey, his paws black. He had a strong, handsome face and a black muzzle.



>> Word count: 5176 so far

WIP</sub>